Updated: Mar 11
discovering a story that matches your intuition can be a huge relief
my friend daniele whose parents had left their home in southern italy for work in northern germany keeps a very uncommon childhood memory. he remembers the day one of his uncles mentioned by the way, that danieles dad had been a monk in a catholic order before he fell in love with danieles mom. apparently that uncle who had come on a two-days-visit from italy wasn't aware of the taboo zones in danieles family.
daniele precisely recalls the sensation he had in the moment his uncle uncovered his dad's religious past: a feeling of decompression spread out over his whole body. dozens of questions started to bubble up in his mind too. but he remembers his immediate physical reaction being pleasant.
as daniele learned where his dad had spent the first part of his adult life his behavior suddenly made sense to him. daniele started to understand his father and the two could connect in a new way. my friend found a missing piece in his family puzzle. a burden had been taken off his shoulders. the untold story had been told. unintentionally. finally.
from this moment on my friend started to question his parents and other relatives about things that had happened in the past. his search for lost pieces in his puzzle continues until today. probably this is a classical setting in a family of migrants. there are quite some pieces that get lost when people move from one country to another. the uprooting makes it harder to fill in the gaps of knowledge.
but daniele discovered it's worth every effort because the urge to create coherence in his story is a healthy one.